Sunday, January 29, 2006

Truth is

"If my fears were tears, would they fall"-Tweet

Playing~"Sometimes you make me smile" - floetry

Sometimes the truth is too painful, direct, embarrassing, life changing. So much so, that we don't know what to do with it, so we lie. We tell half truths, leave out certain facts, change up a few words. You can call a lie many things "white" "tale", "story", "tale"....bottom line, it's a lie. I've discovered lying is one of the most used method of self-preservation. We say we are over an issue. We are done with him/her. In our hearts, we know those are just words. We even tempted to change our attitudes to match our lies. Some even go as far as change their whole life style. You can do what you may, but the truth still remains. You aren't over it. You still want him/her.

There is a difference between lying to yourself and making a choice. I think that is the fine line between the truth and a lie. You can truly choose to get over it. You can choose to stop involving yourself with him/her. You can make a choice! I think choices (true choices) change our minds and our attitudes, which leads to a change in behavior/decision making. Your emotions will soon follow, if the former things truly change.

give me your thoughts?

Playing~"God is able"-Smokie Norful

Sunday, January 22, 2006


"If you catch me dream. Please don't wake me until I'm done" -Hamilton

Playing "say yes" Shekinah Glory

Today, I have to talk about decision making. We blame too many people for too many things. I was talking to my friend who is a bit salty about some pass "friends". Some kinda way he is the victim. He always end up that way. How, I don't know. However, that night I was not allowing him to play the victim.


You take yourself through a disillusion emotional rollcoaster. Back to the story at hand,I had to bring it in for him. We make decision and we must be man/woman enough to live with them. Nobody owe us anything. We are responsible for our actions and reactions. I don't care how someone smooth talks, beggs, pleads, holds you. We can't get mad at people because we invested in them and they didn't want to return the favor. We decided to make that investment and they decided not to. Tough pill to swallow, but it's the truth. We must take responsibility for what we do. Now if someone flat out lied and you made you're decision on that. We may have a problem. Other than that, get over it! We need to stop blaming people. Man up !

Playing "Pass Me over"~Anthony Hamilton

Thursday, January 19, 2006

I'm back with a lot to say

Lord, what's going on with Ray? Is he alright? I don't know what to say anymore.

Playing- "Cry Out" by Stephen Hurd

This weekend was great! I traveled to GA to attended a mini verse of a leadership summit and I was definitely hazed (sleep deprived). A lot of work was accomplished and I got to know several brothers better. I visited this storefront church and the service was great. The sermon was all in my personal conversation the night before. Sunday afternoon, I traveled to Atlanta, GA to find an apartment. I advise anyone to use promove if they are looking for an apartment. They are great! They negotiate deals for you and everything free of charge. Their only request is that you tell the renter who sent you to their apartment complex. My agent is going to be piss though. After all of that work, I decided to take a sublease that doesn't benefit him at all. Sorry, I have to muster up the nerve to break the news to him.

I almost died twice this weekend. Once traveling to the small town in GA. It was dark, raining hard and I was lost. Somehow I ended up in the lane for oncoming traffic. I thought it was the turning lane and I'm looking at this truck that is slowly coming towards me with a perplexed look. "What is he doing coming into my lane?" "Oh My God I'm in his lane" throws car in reverse quick...bust out w/ laughter. Other incident was in Atlanta. Darn, you all! I missed when the lanes separate, but still had time to get over. "Darn, I miss my exit!" Trying to speed to jump in lane quickly. "What is a car doing in the middle of the road?!" Next thing you know I'm swerving everywhere. My bruh, "take your foot off the brake" Thank God! No one was close to me.

Playing "Tis so sweet" Shea Norman

I have been praying that the lord really makes things clear to me on which way I should go. Move to Atlanta or pass on this opportunity and wait until somethings clear up on the home base. I don't want to have the what ifs. I need to know when things get hard that I'm on the right path. So far, I'm getting little signs, nothing concrete. I need to fast or something.

I feel good spiritually. Something has happen on the inside that has brought about an undeniable joy that is calming. It's beautiful! I think it comes from that sermon Sunday and me embracing the message. I've received a lot of bad news death, friend got some bad news (this is why I'm waiting to have sex), denial letter, etc.

Extra, Extra, Extra

Have you ever just thought to yourself. I'm fine today! Nobody has anything on me. I am the best dress, looking, etc. The earth is mine and the fullness thereof.

Okay, I have a small issue w/ someone. They are killing me. Have someone every tried to prove something to you, but the more they try the more they prove the exact oppossite. I'm like dude you are trying to hard. I don't care! You don't have anything to prove. I'm cool with you either way. We are friends nothing will change. This dude is in some type of denial. I'm like dude chill....Serioiusly, I don't care!

Playing-"Deliverance will come" Shea Norman (THIS DUDE CAN SING!) He is hitting Bflat and C a capella with easy it seems

Thursday, January 12, 2006

"I won't be Mary j. Blige if I didn't miss a note"-Mary J. Blige (lol...that's why I love her. She is honest)

Youtube is great. You can find all type of videos there. Here are some links I found that were good.

Karen Clark & KiKi "You love me" live

Fantasia sings at church as a teenager

United Harmony...DC, who?

This is the voice...old Whitney

Funny clip of Beyonce falling......Clay will love this

Lauryn Live performing Adam lives in theory

At this point, you get the point. I have some videos I like a little more than these. Check out the site it's great!

Monday, January 09, 2006

What are you thinking?

"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."

This verse is sooo true! A lot of negative thoughts come into our minds, but they are easily dismissed - pushed aside. However, if a thought gets in your heart it becomes who you are. If in you're heart you are successful, you are. If in you're heart you are defeated, you are. If in you're heart you are ugly you are. We all have meet people who may not have thought were attractive and/or successful, but in their heart they believe they were or vice-versa. And as far as they are concern, they are attractive and/or successful. At the end of the day, your thoughts are the only ones that matter. What's in your heart?

Vainty, Vainty....all is vanity
I need the bloggers help. I cut my head bald once and I'm thinking about doing it again. Let me know what you think. Some of my friends almost rebuke me when I mention doing it again and some are like you should cut it again. The quality of the bald picture is not that great, but give me your feedback.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Should have known better

"Went to the edge of the ledge, but I didn't jump you can't hold a [man] down."-Mary J. Blige "Good woman down"

Playing-that song

It's a new year! Same crap, different year, different attitude...a positive perception can help a whole lot. Don't you hate when things are out of your control, but you are dependent on it. Wrench has been through in my plans, DARN! I'm really pissed and uncertain now. This can't be the start of a new year, not already. Well, this carried over from last year. I've been told that the process goes like this: promise, problem, provision (that was in a sermon). I have obtain the previous two, but I'm waiting on the latter one. I'm a little salty about this whole predicament, but like I stated in previous post this year is "after the storm." I shall conquer and prevail with God's help. Man, I need to seek him for all of these major decisions that are coming up. More praying, less venting

New Addition to the blog; it's called question.

Question: Do you think there is the "ONE" or do you think love is what you make and whom you make it with?

Playing: "Take me as I am" Mary J. Blige

I've been give Mary some plugs on here, but she kinda took me back on this album. It's a little My life with some vocal and spiritual growth.

Monday, January 02, 2006

"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus". Phil 3 v.13-14


I am so happy to say 2005 is officially over. I thought 2004 was bad, but 2005 showed me I had not seen anything. However, that is the pass and we will leave it there. Imagine if we drove the way we lived our life. We would crash all the time. Our rearview mirror is so small and provides us with no information on what is before us. Our windshield is so large and tells us a great deal of what is in front of us. Just like we won't drive looking in our rearview mirror, we shouldn't live our life that way.

Playing: "taxi" Tweet

I'm looking forward to seeing what 2006 has in store. This year will truly be a new year for me. No school, new city (ATL), moving away from home, first real job, etc. I'm ready to receive something good! I decided not to make an vows to anybody. However, I do pray that I am a better me in 2006. I am a realist and I do know that unfortunately I will do somethings I desire not to do, but I also know that it's all about decision making, so lets hope & pray that I don't repeat stupid decisions. With that being stated, I made a goal list for 2006 and I plan on buying a frame, so that I can see them often. It's not very long or detail, because my life is so contingent on some many things, so that was a hindrance.

By the way friend seems to be well. We haven't spoken, but he seems to be up in spirit.