Saturday, December 10, 2005

My Truth, My Journey pt. 1 (repost)

I have some new readers, so this is new to them. Plus, I couldn't leave y'all hangin'

I thought I would share my truth, my journey so far. These are the things that define who I am today.

Born 1983Kenndy Homes Projects*This place was so serious (think of one of the worst projects in your area, this place was one of them). I stayed there until I was 5 y/o (visited everyday until I was about 7). I can remember this place so vividly. Even though I was young, I got unto so much trouble and was so popular. My first fight was there. I gained my first nickname there. Too ashame to say it, but lets say it had to do with my skills as a dancer (I was SHARP) and a group that was electric something or other(that's for those mid-late 70s and VERY early 80s babies). I learned how to be tough there. My family stayed there for 16-18 years previously.
Lesson: It's a hard knock life

"Touch"
Around the age of 7 (give a year or 2) my thoughts on sex (unsure if I had any) completly changed. Enuff said
Lesson: You can't trust people! You have to protect yourself b/c no one can be responsible for you, but you.

"Move B****"
I stabbed my cousin in the chest with a pencil. I was around 8 when this happen. I had a temper out of this world. My cousin thought it would be funny to tease me with his stupid toys. Since he kept acting ugly I stabbed him. The pencil pentrate through his skin and lead to the ambulance rushing him off. I got a beating out of this world. I was so scared when this happen. I thought he was going to die. Everyone was frantic and talked about how I poisoned him.
Lesson: Your actions can cause serious repercussions for yourself and others.

"Sex is on my mind"
I don't know which came first the "Touch" or my over the top sexual acts (I strong believe it was before). I was out of control. I had this neighbor who was a little girl like a year younger than me and everytime I went over there it was something sexual going on. Showing privates (sound like a little kid, huh), touching (serious touching, humping with shirts off, but no intercourse. Just out of control....JESUS! I got a beating that was out of this world one time for dry humping another girl. After beatings and sermons at churchh I was like SEX is bad-I still have those thoughts subconsciously. Given the rules on sex in christiandom you don't explore much. Outside of educating ones self on risk and bodily functions (you don't explore too much with that...b/c you may become too curious)Lesson: Just say NO TO SEX

"Pop left me"
My father and my mother were never married and never stayed together. In the beginning, my father was very involved, then he turned into a mess. As a boy you think your dad is king and your a prince (I'm sure the men second that). Then reality hits you. It's a terrible thing for a kid to be filled with anticipation and have all their stuff pack to go spend the weekend with their dad and the bastard don't show up. You there with your crap holding onto that last bit of hope, then u just give up 2 hours later. I realize after this happening several times or being picked up only to be abandon at a family members house, that he was an ***.Lesson: You can't rely on people. Don't allow someone to control your emotions/mood.To be continued......

3 Comments:

At 11:56 PM, Blogger TrinaBeingTrina said...

Good post..The part about your dad is a shame. I thank god I never experienced that. To many of my friends are messed up b/c of an absent father.

 
At 10:39 PM, Blogger Clay said...

this is a good post - especially pointing on the lessons

 
At 2:36 PM, Blogger Jamal K. Franklin said...

I ain't new but um...that was interesting.

Coming Into Reality,
-Jamal

 

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