Friday, June 03, 2005

Twenties=purgatory

Your twenties are a mess! Plain and simple. These years are like no other. Uncertainties are innumerable, you are discovering a new person-it seems, you are trying to set up the rest of your life, you feel the pressure to achieve (everyone's watching-seeing if their prophecies will be fulfilled rather good or bad)...it's just too much.

*Mood in music-Ol' skool Mary J. blige (My life-album, your all I need to get by, etc.)

Success (career wise) is not as easy as you pictured and if you do achieve said success, guess what? Your working your butt off to keep it and half of the time it's not what you want. We can't win for losing! After discovering this you stay at the job, because hey, what options do you have. Your the lucky one you have obtain the "dream". Those who didn't get their "dream" job they are stuck with some crap they really don't like and most likely they're questioning the time they spent in college. What the bumba?! Now your back at the drawing board trying to figure out how to make your dream come true. To make it personal: I did what I could to make sure my stuff was on point, and you mean to tell me I can't get a non-prestigious internship (not referring to the "high school jobs" I applied to, and I haven't gotten a callback for that) . I mean what is going on? People I have worked with $50, 000 budget and had a $13,000 budget that was solely mine and you mean to tell me I can't get an internship (and I have charisma, so what is it?). Which put my post-grad. stuff in jeopardy-LAWD!!

Twenties is the time when you are really discovering you. Your mind is as open as its ever been. Your deciphering between what's you and what has been expected and/or been taught to you. Your beliefs begin to shine through. Your finally over the excitement of being grown and your realize what it really means. And the crap aint all the exciting...lol. Because everyone is use to you to at least having it half way together you have to keep face. Godforbid if you are one of those over-achievers/person who is on point all the time. You really have to keep your stuff together. You are the paradigm-you can't be slippin'. So now, what do you do with this new being that is you. Surely, some of your personal beliefs don't agree with every belief you were taught. And what about all this new stuff? To make it personal: As you all can gather from reading, my faith and I are in a tiff, sometimes a battle. It's not so much the lifestyle (living by commandments), which can be a test from time to time, but my temperance is pretty high and after awhile it's becomes habit. I mean 21 (almost 22) still a virgin-without these "me" time sessions. I've had women and men (make no assumptions folks) try to get to know me biblically and to no avail. My issues are deeper like what if this whole thing is a method of social control. I mean, wouldn't that be a brilliant idea. Live for this person who sacrifice his life for you and if are too selfish to do so-you're going to hell. Give people these set of rules to live by and the ultimate punishment is hell, that is if you don't follow. So sacrifice your life to serve others, which in turn makes you a better person (which it does in some cases), Idunno. It's like you can't really question or disprove anything because it's all about faith (that was in a blog about earlier-good read). Bottom line-Is faith or all this dying to ones self-worth it? Can a nigga..aahheemm a brother just do whatever he is feeling. There are other things..not enough time.

Money: simply put-your behind is broke. Even if your making some money you have loans, bills, and awhole bunch of crap you have acquired over time. If your in your mid/late twenties you may have a little something. If your in grad-school, I don't even need to go there-you already know.

Dating: Why is everyone so darn concern! I already blogged about this, so enough said. Where are there so many women asking the question where are the men who are of substances, handsome, and not about those games. Then you have the men who are saying the same thing about women . Can we get all these niggas in the same room, so they can meet and shut up! *smile if your one We may have to do a pre-screening though, because some ppl are a little confused-they think they meet the criteria, but they aren't even close. We don't want the people who we bring together saying I told you there is no one of substance.

*Your future some many opportunities. It's like "wide open spaces" (Dixie Chicks-what y'all know about that? I know, I just lost 2 hood points, right there) you want to conquer the world, but you have to focus and figure things out-afterall, your grown! And everyone is asking you what are you doing next...ASK ME THAT DUMB QUESTION AGAIN, I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE THROAT. MATTER OF FACT, ASK ME ANY DUMB QUESTION including, but not limited to: dating, job(s), money, school, my future. Just shut up and pray or something, but don't say nuthin' about the aforementioned issues. I think I'm slightly depress, nothing to be worried about. I'm just in a strange place (valley)...when your like...where am I going, what am I suppose to be doing, how am I suppose to go there, am I prepared for what's next? AARRGHH.....I rest in faith...well, I try. Take no thought for tomorrow, for tomorrow taketh care of it's self. There's enough trouble in today. OKay, enough is enough.

Plugs:
Common-Be. Is the truth
Crash-the movie, Must see saw it like a month ago...awesome, I could blog about that movie.
Micah Stampley (gospel artist)-appears to have a strong album-don't quote me.
Vashawn Mitchell (gospel artist)-great album

Questions:
Is everyone trying to bite off Justin Timberlake ?(namely Omarion, Marques Houston-listen to a few cuts off new album, and Usher-yeah I said it)

What do you do when you feel like a friend or two is take a chapter or two from the chronicles of you and trying to put it in their book? Like they take some of your characteristics and try to make them their own, and everyone buys it. I'm like dang dude you are a cheap imitation of me. And your looking at everyone like y'all do not see this? I mean I'm not mad, but more like, huh? There still them, but you are mixed up in there too. I'm not talking about hangin' around someone and picking up on little things.

Songs for this period of life: "I know who hold tomorrow"~ Kelly Price; "Be Encourage"~unknow, "Not the time nor the place"~Marvin Sapp, Mary J. Blige~My Life-the album (there are times when you just want to be pissed..lol.), and I dare not mention some country song I mention earlier.

5 Comments:

At 5:59 PM, Blogger No4real4real said...

Okay you wrote about more than I can comment on. Goodness!!!

What comes to mind...(no assumptions) you bring those onto yourself. Twenties are the least of you worries. You will look back and smile.

What if a friend writes about you in a book? Man get over it. You should be flattered. My ex is writing a book and one of the characters is all me. I am scared to see where it goes.

LOL @ twenties = purgatory

 
At 4:03 AM, Blogger mytruth said...

Have a started something with the make no assumption comment-I meant just that. I'm starting trouble again

 
At 7:05 PM, Blogger NapKaboom said...

Im feelin it...

Im 23, just graduated college, and as the "Golden Child" by many, it is almost shameful not to know the answer to the question, "Whats next?"

 
At 10:39 AM, Blogger prodigalsun said...

Hmmm... twenties are supposed to e about fun... I say enjoy them and try not to stress to much...

And I have to address this... JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AINT INVENT SHYT!!! I loved his album... I admit... but Justin is a great big old copy cat. Usher was doing this long before him, and Michael before Usher. So if you really want to give credit where credit is due, look at all the similarities of people copying Michael.

 
At 2:12 PM, Blogger mytruth said...

I second that Sun

 

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