Thursday, May 26, 2005


Victim and I were IMing today and I asked a question and the conversation went something like this:

Me: When does accepting the things that aren't worth having become a lie?
*Why do we ask questions we know the answer to..maybe we aren't ready to accept it

Victim: When you realize it.

Me: Well...what about faith? When can your faith be misleading you? You know, creating a false hope, making you believe something that is not necessary true. Basically, when does faith become a lie?

Victim: It doesn't, to the person that believes, it's infallible.

Me: This is I guess we can believe a lie and think it's the complete truth, because in our minds it's no way it can be wrong.


I've come to the conclusion, that we all have believe a lie to get us through. We need to believe that our ideal job, situtation, companion, etc. passed us by because there is something greater or that things were simply not meant to be. What about those things that we felt we desperately needed, but didn't receive and still feel the consequences of it to this day. What if we haven't seen those "better" things yet, or seen the good in it yet. What do you do? You believe...b/c that's all you have. You take comfort in your faith, right? It is infallible, correct? The bible says "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" How do we know that our heart isn't deceiving us to believe in faith? We don't know because "who can know it?" All we have is faith, either you believe or you don't.

My choice is to believe. I have to believe that things will work for my good. Some how, some's working. What's faith if you can see it? Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. It's like, faith is our great asset, yet an ever bigger liability.

What do you think about this?

*Just was having a little introspective moment and I thought I would share it.

*Playing: Sing~Micah Stampley (off the chain song)

* I went to a Def Poetry Jam show last year and a lady name Stacyann chin spoke and she did a poem about believing in spoke volumes to me.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

I'm Encourage

Okay, I know yesterday was a bit much...sorry folks (lol). I'm back with and I'm a little bit more positive now. A little faith and prayer can give you a little refresher. I went and applied to all of the major department stores in the mall today. I even went to Target...somewhere inbetween me coming in and completing the application-they stop hiring, WHAT?! 30-40 mins. gone. However, that didn't dent my swagger...I am me and I don't have pitty parties for long (sorry again for yesterday). So I decided to hit up the mall and I filled out 4 or 5 applications, so we will see. Yes, a brother has been reduced to working somewhere were high school students can work with no problem...isn't this a mess.

Also, a lot of the frustration...I've just chopped it up to just being human-life happens, you know. Everything will not come together in your timing ("Accept what God allows"-great song). Somehow some of that frustration turns into sexual frustration...don't ask me ( I just live in my body, I don't understand But just to let you know I'm just fine. Lesson for yesterday: "[you have to] accept those things that are not worth having"

"Somebody loves you baby"-Pattie Labelle

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Can't get no satisfaction

India Arie~Purify Me

I can't get no satisfaction! At one point, I was so pleased with not moving and just enjoying the simple things in life. That feeling was over a 1.5 week ago. I have always been face with this issue of not being able to be satisfied. Nothing can keep me entertained and interested for long. This has been a problem ever since I was a child. My mom use to be me the video games and stuff as a source of entertainment. Hey, I was an only child..she had to do something. Well, after two months or so of those games I was be done with them. I'll get another video game and that will keep me entertained for two weeks or so. Essential those toys and games were more entertaining for my friends and cousins. I remember telling my mother after she brought me a game gear (sidenote: I was the only dude in my projects to have that. I was the man darn it! She spent all that money to get it when it came out and I was done with it in a couple of months.) I was like mom...don't buy me anymore video games I don't play with them much and they cost too much money.

Not only was I like that with video games I was like that with dating. This girl who was kinda like my second real girlfriend at the time...Idunno if I can call her that. Have I actually had a real girlfriend? hhmm...I need to put some thought into that. Back to the story, she had been trying to get at me for awhile and I was trying to be on that mack daddy stuff playing around like I was the bleep. Finally, we starting dating...and guess what I get tired of her. It was kinda monotonous. Plus, I didn't like the feeling of being obligated to someone. I don't owe you anything, so I dropped her on our way from my 1st or 2nd period. There was also some drama with her and my best friend, which cause a stir at my high school. Apparently, they were spending some time together after school and of course this quickly gets back to me (the funny thing is, he was the one who walked her to my house, so that we could make up...I didn't hear them at my door). He later admits he liked her, but she liked me. It didn't matter then-I was done with her.

So here I am sitting her, with no satisfaction. The funny thing is, I don't face this issue with my friends...I'm loyal to them. Unless they violate me on more than one occasion in a BIG way. I think one of the major problems with my dissatifcation is my outlook on life. I am an idealist. I want things to be ideal. I have big dreams and I actually expect them bear fruit and most of the time, they don't. The dreams aren't unrealistic, but they're a little to close to being perfect-why can't my stuff line up! AArrrgghh. I do what I can and expect things to line up, because that was suppose to be the right way to accomplish what I dreamed of. It's like you know that you encompass greatness, but for some freakin' reason it will not come to fruition...what is that all about! So a brother is frustrated right now. I'm just aggravated all the way around. No job, No girlfriend, spiritually feel okay-nothing special, I guess that's my fault (anything good it's God, anything not so good it's you). However, I have not been spending much time with him, so I guess I shouldn't expect anything great.

Yes, sometimes I have beef with my beliefs, but it also brings me so much joy and sureness ( I can't explain it). I'm not referring to church, which is good too, but I talking about the personal relationship with God-spending time in his presence. It's such a complicated relationship though or maybe it's just my age and where I am. The bible talks about us dying daily and taking up our cross and following him. So our goal is to be an imitators of Christ. So anything that we desire that doesn't align itself with following him must die. I'm at the age now where I want to explore from time to time. However, I don't think I would feel comfortable exploring. My beliefs have been guide for the last 6 years, so most things that seem alright with ppl and alright with my personal truth may not be alright the God. Thus, my personal truth gets push to the side and what God wants takes center stage. I'm not basing any of this on what someone preached to me. I'm basing this on what I've read in his word (the bible) for myself. Jeez..I went on a rant for a second. The bottom line is I can't get no satisfaction. I'm frustrated....I wanna bust a nut, but I can't. No, I can't masturbate...that would fall under the category of lusting. Unless you know of another way to get hard, stay hard, and not imagine someone or some act to get you excited. I want to party with my friends and act a fool with no second thought. I just want to explore period. Sorry, rant started again...I've hit on everything...excuse me a brother is getting a little emotional, but he's frustration. Actually, I've been a little emotional all week. I think it has something to do with my father passing almost a year ago (june 4th-1 year)...I can't even go there now. Maybe I just need to sit down and really do some studying of my bible and some prayer, because I'm tripping.

*What do you do when you're too big for where you are, but not ready or possibly afraid of what's to come?
*India Arie~Slow Down is good for me right now. Oh don't sleep on that Kem-he is the truth.

"How can I give someone space and time when that's how I feel"~Nikki giovanni

Sunday, May 22, 2005

I've been tagged plus more

1.Dinner Date

Dinner Date:
I left out the details last time, so here it is. We were suppose to meet at 6:00pm to go out to eat. She calls me a little before 5 and says lets meet at know I have to be late. I'm like cool. We decided to go to some Mexican restaurant. Apparently she loves the nachos. She calls me like 6:20 and says "I'm 15 mins. away". I'm like how are you late when this is your side of town. She laughs and is like "you know a nigga can't be on time". She arrives we greet and start talking about everything. She is going to graduate school at the University of Michigan. She will get her Ph.D in African American Studies. Her package is alright, I was expecting her to get more money. She will receive like $11,000 and this excludes insurance and stuff (she gets that off of gp). We basically were talking about her future and what she wants to go. She should be going to Chicago this week. We talk about my future plans. Laugh about the scholar program we were in together. This program was full of madness. We had good conversations shared some laughs and the food was good. However, there were no sparks flying. It was nice being out with a lady, but that's it. We hugged, took a picture for old time sake, and left. I paid for the food...which is something I was debating on. A brother is currently unemployed (lol). I was a little displeased that she ordered this extra side and didn't use the it. The side cost half of her meal. I'm like are you fo'real...but it was cool. She called that following Monday, I didn't answer. I was in a different zone then ( I already said I can be distant at time). She didn't leave a message, so I thought it wasn't that important.

The photo came out nice, but I didn't want it to be nice. I wanted it to be Great! Everyone whom I've had shown the picture to thinks it's nice. They are like man that fit is tight...should they expect anything less from me? I want to post it so bad, but then I may have to water down my post. I want to put whatever I want on here and not think twice about it. Also, looking at the picture I really don't see the previous comparisons I mention. The bone structures are similar and the skin tones, that's were they get it from. Other than that nothing

He is alright, he decided to stay with his mom. All of his stuff is still over here. We had a slight problem on Wednesday morning. He comes to my house before 8am and my head had hit the pillow all of an hour (my sleep pattern is off). I didn't know who it was, but I knew they were not getting in to 205 (apt. number). At first, I thought it was my freakin' roommate, it wasn't him, it was victim. This boy bangs and rings like crazy. I mean he is hitting my door off the hedges and I'm like whomever that is will stay outside. I'm extremely pissed off! After 7 mins of str8 bangin' he left (I think differently about 7 mins.'s a long time).

STILL NO JOB. Went to a community job fair, but those jobs weren't for me. I have to follow up on this job lead on Monday. Monday will be job search day-blah.

This has been interesting week. I have been aahhmm...horny. AARRGGGHHH!!! Monday and Tuesday were just a know I was tempted to settle the issue myself, but I can't do that either, so I just held out. Wednesday was cool. Thursday I was sleep, but not in a deep sleep (you all know what I mean) and I was beginning this off the chain sex dream (homegirl was about to get served), so I woke up before it got too deep. I'm like AAARRGGHHH. 4real you need to teach me how you control these dreams. Just to let you know...when your dreaming about flying, your dreaming about sex (wink) or that's what my teacher told me in high school (don't ask). Friday was the finale (this furthers my question about our biological functions and waiting...this is another blog). Sexual desires calmed down after that, but it stills in the back of my mind...lets see how long it stays there.

*Why was my one of my brothers on a date and the female decided to grab his bleep. I was laughing when he told me. I was like bruh are you serious? That was there first date and he told her straight up "you just blew yourself out of the water". She tried to act like she didn't know what she did, then she felt shame and was apologizing for days. He is trying to abstain now, but man I was rolling when he told me about this.

Sidenote: I think Rachel and Veronica bump clits. Sorry...just watched an episode.

I've been tagged by prodigalsun (sorry I don't know how to link). I don't do chain letters, but tagging me is alright.

10 Things I love........

2.) My organization
4.) Laughter
5.)good food
6.)good companionship (includes:good conversation, good hugs, all that good stuff)
7.)God (inspite of all these questions)
8.)Seeing other ppl happy
9.)dancing (which I haven't done in awhile)
10.)"me" time (get your minds out of the gutter)

Thursday, May 19, 2005

I'm A Model

I've been chosen to be a model...Yes, your boy will be in the schools calendar (Nawl, it aint Ebony or Essence...but still). Alright!!! Enough about that...however, I'm still happy to entertain the

Grandmother B-day was today, it was a celebrate (you need to see "Meet the Browns" to get it). Nothing big happen, we just went out to eat. It was ashame that everyone was strugglin' with how old she was (67). I wanted to blog about other things and give some updates on the date, victim, etc....that will happen later. It's 4:11am and I started this blog around 10pm interruptions, I tell you! Plus I had to let my bruh cut my hair.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Dinner date

By the way blog family, your boy finally had a date. It's been a whole year, but it will not go anywhere she is going to grad. school in Michigan. I just thought I should share that experience.


I've been had

Your boys has been gone for a minute, but I'm back with the jump off. Several things have transpired, but I"m going to focus on the events of last night. Have you ever been surprised at the actions of someone you are like "is this person fo'real"? Well I was tried like a punk bleep last night. I turned off all my phones, but I kept my house phone next to me just in case my mother was trying to get in contact with (my house phone lights up when it rings) and I notice this number shows up several times back to back. The first few time I ignored, but the number keeps showing up, so I answer after seeing it for like the 5th time. I answer, it's one of my good friends. Lets call him victim. Victim is on the other line saying he needs some where to stay he is at his moms house now. I'm like oh goodness what's going on NOW! The conversations goes like this.

Victim: I'm homeless, can I stay over your house tonight (don't be shocked by the word will come together throughout the conversation).
Me: Oh God..are you sure you want to stay here? Last night was kinda crunk over here (roommate issue-once again).
Victim: Yeah, anything is good right now.
Me: I"m like alright you can stay over here.
Victim:Thanks-My mom will bring me over to your place sometime tonight. Sidenote: His mom doesn't like me, but she fakes like she does (Idunno why...but I have an idea).
*He calls me right back...there has been a misunderstanding my mom is going to bed.*
Me: Okay?
Victim:Can u come get me?
Me:I'm in my night clothes.
*he goes on and on and I agree. I pick him up in the park lot of the mall. He gets in my car and the conversation goes like this.
Victim: Thank You! I owe you one. I need to go to my brothers house to get my stuff
Me: WHAT! You want me to sit out in the projects with my night clothes on looking suspect...This is a mess.
Victim: It should only take 20 mins. You should have seen my mother face when I told her I was going to stay the night at your house.
Me: Wait!? You could have stayed at your mothers house?
Victim: Yeah
*I'm like H to the nawl....I have been had. You mean to tell me that I got out of my bed, drove over here and you were fine where you were. This has got to be a joke. Where is Ashton..b/c I've been punk'd. I'm kinda piss off..I know he is something else, but I was not expecting this.
Me: You are so self-serving. You got me out here in my night clothes and now you want me to sit in the park lot of the projects while you get your stuff. And God knows what is going on with your mother-now you got me in all this mess and I don't have anything to do with anything.
Victim: I know, I owe you big time.
Me: I can't believe this.
*I was really tempted to go off, but in his mind he was truly homeless and he was distress, so I held it together and was silent for awhile.
* I wait in the parking lot of his brother place for 30 mins. While everyone is walking around with their liquor carrying on. I was not afraid, because I grow up in that environment, so I was not freaked out, but I couldn't believe it I was there that time of night in my night clothes.

On the drive back to my apartment we just had small talk. We discuss where he will stay. He will stay with his uncle, which will be interesting. His uncle is kinda militant (one of those guys from the army) and he is a little "extra" from time to time. I have a high tolerance, but he honestly gets on my nerves from time to time. I'm like what is going on with you. Turn yourself down-he a good person though, so I can over look that, but man. Once we get to my house we chill, crack some jokes, watch Kings of Comedy and Madea "Class Reunion". He talks about how bad his life is and I was really getting weary listening to him, so I put in the movies. I hate ppl who always make things seem worst than they are. I"m like see it for what it is. You don't have an apartment with your name on the lease-get over it. You have somewhere to stay, make due until you can do better and move on. For God sake stop saying your homeless. Technically you are, but he makes it seem like he is out on the street. GGGGGOOOOOODDDDDD!

What do you all think about this? Give me some feedback.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The Truth

My words have caused me to re-evaluate my blogging. While communicating with another blogger I asked them a question "are you going to give us the watered down you?"

*Tamia-"If I were You" playing in the atmosphere

In my attempt to not water down things...I'm going to take a big step at divulge a little more of myself. Dang! I'm really struggling' with this. I told y'all I was a private person.

*3 mins. later (different song Fantasia "Free Yourself")....

Sex, the lack there of, and the insecurities

If you didn't know....I'm am apart of the V Club. Yep, I am a virgin. 21 year old college student a virgin. This is a rarity, I know. However, I am not ashame of this fact. I am waiting for marriage or at least trying to. I don't know if anyone else is trying to attempt this, but it can be quite a challenge. Some days I'm like this is not biological right. I'm going to explode. God forget to match our bodies up with his word....j/k. Our bodies have a mind of their own. If you don't get rid of all of that extra fluid and energy your mind and body will do it for you. I told you this blog was going to be real; I can't believe I just typed that, but whatever. It's the truth. I know some people are like this dude is lying or he just can't get any. You are wrong in both instances. The latter statement can present a problem. I am a college student sex is readily available, so this can cause some problems. Sex being so available has been a problem since high school. When girls first found out I was still a virgin (girls talk so much)...all of them wanted to be first. Hey, it's a new day, the tables have turned, I guess. So here I am this 13 to 14 year young man having like 3 to 4 different girls trying to get to "know" me biblically. At this time, I wasn't thinking too much about God, so I thought this was cool. Then, the insecurities hit me. Hey? I haven't done this before and they have...what if I suck? What if I am too thick, too small, too big, too thin? What if they got something? What if they suck? I had too many questions with little to no answers. And once I saw all those diseases, you can get from sex in my class I was like WHAT! THE BUMBA. I was like I'll pass, which was a little surprising because I'm a curious cat. I had other questions too, which I can't blog about the words of a new found friend of mine no4real4real "TMI". Shortly thereafter, the God fearing me emerged, so sex was definitely off limits now. My friends and I made a pact to wait. Now you have a 21 year old who no longers have those questions...found out I wasn't doing bad down below. One question still remains..."What if I suck?" Being 14 and sucking is alright, but 21 it's unacceptable. I must knock it out, if I'm going to do it. I admit I'm a little cocky, trust I'm not narcissistic. I'm just confident and sometimes sure of myself. The pact that I spoke of, nobody kept it, but me. Now the pressure is on, everyone is telling me not to mess up, I'm like thanks for the advice. You got yours and now you want to tell me to wait. SHUT UP! How is a brother maintaining? I stay busy, keep myself out of those potentially sticky situation (pun intended), remember the pact, and remember I'm committed to God. My relationship with God gets interesting from time to time...I have some questions, few answers. U will see how this effects my emotions, my behavior, my mindset on sexuality, social issues, etc. in another blog.

As I admitted in my previous paragraph I can be cocky, which means I need to be way better than average in anything that involves me. I don't have to be the best, but I have to be above most. Dang! That sounds bad, but it's true. Okay, I sing in this group. Most people in the group can get down vocally. Now I am 2nd tenor with a decent-to- pretty good range. I get compliments in this area. However, my ear isn't that good, so I depend on "The tenor"(aka male Beyonce) in the group. Because of my aforementioned cockiness I'm insecure. I need to feel like I'm an asset to the group and not a liability. I hate it when we sing, I rarely get into it and when I have to sing without the "tenor" I get nervous, lose confidence and sing bass or even worst lose the note, which of course messes up the harmony, because it's three part harmony. My height is another issue. I'm 5'8...yes, I know already. Now I'm not all the insecure about this, but I am definitely not above average, which is the issue. The average is 5'9, so a brother is lacking vertically...what is a brother to do? I blame it on my mom. She is 5'0. My dad is 6'3...what happen, I don't know. I fell in the middle...this is a mess. My weight ( I will not disclose that info.) now I am a little insecure about this. I'm a slender brother, so people always have jokes. I want to gain some pounds, but I can't get into the gym rat thing and my eating habits are poor, so I'm pretty much stuck with it. The good thing is my confidence/cockiness makes up for it. When people try to clown my weight, I'm like so what my face makes up for it. They usually back off b/c they realize that comment didn't phase me. I notice that I have mention me being handsome before, but I don't want y'all to think I'm real conceited or boris. I'm a regular brother...I'm not a model or anything. Who have I been compared to hhmmm....Taye Diggs ( When he was in Stella) & Sam Salter (R & B singer, who sung "after 12 before 6" released in the late 90s). The two don't look that much a like, so I don't know about the comparisons, but those are the only two famous ppl I've been called. I wouldn't dare put a picture up. Especially, after I'm telling all my business. What do you do when we aren't the best or where we want to be in something? We minimize its importance or get out of dodge.
* know this is full of errors...this is too much to re-read (like I ever check grammar extensively)and it's too late.

Give me some feedback on this blog whatever u would like to comment on

Monday, May 09, 2005

just a post

Art of Noise~"Moments of Love"

Mother's day....was good, nothing special (the food made it good). My bruhs came over to eat, my mom invites them, because she wants to be noise really. And if it takes cooking a lot of food to find out who is who, she doesn't mind. It was good seeing the family,laughing about everything, and catching up.
*Change of music*
Kelly price~" I know who holds tomorrow" (this song is that's on an old album)

While briefly thinking about the Whys and the Whys. I come across the unemployment issue. Why can't I get a job? I'm marketable as all get out. I've worked with a $50,000 budget, a $13,000 budget, I've management many people (like 25 ppl) and did a darn good job of it. So why can't a brother get a job? If someone could give me the answer to that, I would appreciate. I've had like 4 or 5 "2nd interviews". One I turned down, but the others I don't know. I had a phone interview today and he tells me what I'm going to do. Your suppose to ask the questions and I give the can't do both darn it. Basically, I didn't get the job because I'm not from the area; and they think if they train me I will not return to the company. Did I not tell this dude, that I have family members in that city and that I'm somewhat familiar with the area. He still persist that I will not return to the company. He likes me, so he wants me to send him my resume AGAIN. He wants to refer me to someone who is in my district. I'm like forget it, I've already interviewed for my district, I didn't get it.
*Bilal playing...does he remind anyone of Prince?

Another concern, school. I didn't do well at all this semester. I didn't get mad, because I didn't do anything...I mean nothing. I didn't go to class neither did I watch class (yeah, we can watch class online), which makes it worst. So now in order to graduate a brother has to get an A or a C+ in one of the toughest class on this campus (grade in this class depends on grade in other class they must avg. out to be a 3.2). I"m like Darn it! How did I get into this mess? Last year this time and brotha was on the National Dean's List. I couldn't sleep Saturday because I'm trying to figure everything out. I wasn't being completely lazy, I was truly burnt out. I had nothing to give and the other half of me was just lazy. Well, lacking the motivation to do the work. This summer break will do my soul some good.

Do people not know what Sabbatical means...I told people I'm taking a sabbatical, these niggas are still calling trying to get me to work....NO, NO, NO!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


If you didn't know...Mint condition is back! They have stayed true to their sound, which I can appreciate. Why do these artist come back and try to do something that isn't them. Mint Condition didn't fall for it...thank goodness. I haven't heard a classic yet, but I haven't really listen to the album. I've played it twice, but I was multi-tasking both times, so I couldn't dig into the album. But I'm sure they have-to-have something that is similar to: "pretty brown eyes", and "what kinda man would I be". Please support real music people, because it it lacking.

Do I need to get crunk?

I come home after running around for an hour or so and who do I find, my roommate..WHAT! Roommate matching is that BS. I'm shocked because he was suppose to be transferred and apparently he is not. Why should he be transferred? Where do I begin.....he is not a college student and these apartments are typically for college students, he is 28 years old, he is an alcoholic, he smokes and he smoked weed in the house. I have to tell you the smoking weed story b/c this was really crazy. But let me acknowledge the h0norable mention incident first: He throws up on the patio and doesn't clean it's there still now.

*this is the story.....
My organization had an even that night and afterwords some of us go out to eat. I return to my apartment with my bruhs to find the heavy scent of reffa in my house....I'm like "fo'real this has to be a joke". My boys are tripping out they think this is hiliarious, b/c they know I don't like dude already. I"m like he has to go, but I'm playing it cool, not trippin' he is grown, do you playa. However, you will not do it in here and fill up the whole house. Smoke in the bathroom or something, so that it can stay in your room. I go and get the air freshner and start sparying.

* conversation in my roommates room

My roommate: "my roommate is about to start Bitching" I have never address homie before at all, so I don't know what he is talking about.

girl in room: "Fuck that ...blah, blah, blah"

*I'm like are you fo' people don't hear this, so I played it cool for like a minute. Then, I begin to talk junk too; girl in the room decides to get real cute. She opens the door

girl in room: "it smells real good in here, huh"

me: "I'm like so we smoke weed now, huh"

girl in room: "Oh no it's not like that" (still being cute)

me: "since you want to be a comedian we will see how funny it is when he has no where to stay"

*they leave shortly thereafter, but my roommate returns

Next morning (Saturday) mother and I go to management to get him out that day. Well, managment doesn't work on Saturday. My mother wasn't having it...she goes off making all types of claims and it escaltes to people being called Bs and Mfs, etc. Then, one girl makes a mistake. BIG MISTAKE...she touched an angry black women...(the blog worlds starts, oohhingg) my mother starts really cussing her out and she took that step back and looked her up and down, which means you are about to get knocked the bleep out. Then, I stepped in and took over from there. We meet with management on Monday. I ran that meeting and they are like he will be why is he still here. Do I need to get crunk again, what do you think?

Sunday, May 01, 2005

allow me to re-introduce myself

Okay, I'm trying to come up with a unique way to introduce myself to the blog world, so of course I took ideas from various blogs and merged them together (Nothing is new under the sun).

Now playing...Slim Thug ft. T.I. & Bun B -3 kings

5 things......

5 things about me......
1.)I'm 5'8
2.) I love hard, so I don't love often
3.)I love music
4.)I'm an idealist
5.)I'm a thinker...I analyze life too much Darn it!

5 things that describe me.......
1.)Open minded
3.)Confident 98% of the time (some think I'm cocky, but they don't know me)
4.)Handsome (wink)
5.)Distance, but it's not my intentions

5 things I haven't experience....
1.) Sex
2.) Countries outside of U.S.
3.) Real love (in a relationship)
4.)Interracial relationship (don't worry black women)

5 things I have experience.....
1.)True friendship
3.)Success4.)President of a prestigious organization5.)Crazy road trip

5 type of people I dislike.....
1.) Lairs
2.) Inconsiderate people
3.) Simple people
5.) Gossipers

*We all have those characteristics.....rather you are aware of it or not, but to practice them is just unacceptable

5 things I believe in.....

5 things I don't understand.....
1.) The will of God
2.) How older people made it back in the day (slavery up into the 30s, 40s)
3.)Rebels without a cause
4.)Self-hatred (we all dis-like things, but to hate yourself)

Beginning the Journey

After viewing Blogs for about 3 to 5 months, I have decided to start one of my own. I first heard of blogs in my Public Relations class, so me being the scholar (euphemism for being nosey) that I am, I decided to do research. Suzette's blog was the first blog I've ever read (so I guess she is the catalyst for my blog-honorable mention, people she linked). You wouldn't believe how hard this was for me...I'm such a private person. My thoughts belong to me and for me to put them on the web for anyone and everyone to see, is a bit much for me. However, I think this will be cool and very embrassing, because LAWD knows my life can be entertaining from time to time. At this point, my life is in limbo. I have many questions, very little answers. These questions range from God, destiny, purpose, sex, relationship and everything in between. I am a 21 year old soon-to-be college grad, so I'm sure this will keep you all entertained. Take a journey with this 21 year old black male as he analyzes: life, himself, and everything else under the sun. Let the Journey begin